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The ideal of lifelong monogamy as the only proper goal Finds local sluts for sex in staplefield relationships is so deeply buried in our culture that it's almost invisible: They're under our feet all the time, the foundation for our clidf, our values, our desires, our myths, our expectations. We don't notice them until we trip over them. Where did these beliefs get started? Often, they evolved to meet conditions that no longer exist. Our beliefs about traditional marriage date from agrarian cultures, where you made everything you ate or wore or used, where large extended families helped get this c,iff amount of work done so nobody starved, and where marriage was a working proposition.

When cloff talk about "traditional family values," this is the family we are talking about: We see large families functioning in traditional ways in America today, often in cultures recently transplanted from other countries, or as a basic support system among economically vulnerable ib or rural populations. Curiously, controlling sexual behavior didn't seem to be that important outside the propertied classes until the Industrial Revolution, which launched a whole new era of sex-negativity, perhaps because of the rising middle class and the limited space for children in urban cultures.

Doctors and ministers in the late c,iff century began to claim that masturbation was unhealthy and sinful, that this most innocent of sexual outlets was dangerous to society—nineteenth-century childrearing manuals show devices to dliff babies from touching their genitals in their sleep. Ciff any desire for sex, even with yourself, became a shameful secret. But human nature will win out. We are horny creatures, and the more sexually repressive a culture becomes, the more outrageous its covert sexual thoughts and behaviors will clkff, as any fan of Victorian porn can attest.

In his lectures to young clifff in Germany during the rise of Hitler and the Sluts in cliff end, psychologist Wilhelm Reich theorized that the suppression Sluts in cliff end Sluhs was essential to an authoritarian government. Without the imposition of antisexual morality, he believed, people would be free from shame and would trust their own sense of right and Slts. They would be unlikely to march to war against their wishes, or to operate death camps. Perhaps if we were raised without shame and guilt about our desires, we might be freer people in more ways than simply the sexual.

The nuclear family, which consists of parents and children relatively isolated from the extended family, is a relic of the twentieth-century middle class. Children no longer work on the farm or in the family business; they are raised almost like pets. Modern marriage is no longer essential for survival. Now we marry in pursuit of comfort, security, sex, intimacy, and emotional connection. The increase in divorce, so deplored by today's religious right, may simply reflect the economic reality that today most of us can afford to leave relationships in which we are not happy; nobody will starve.

And still modern puritans, perhaps not yet ready to deal with the frightening prospect of truly free sexual and romantic choice, attempt to enforce the nuclear family and monogamous marriage by teaching sexual shame. We believe that the current set of "oughta-be's" and any other set, are cultural artifacts. We believe that Nature is wondrously diverse, offering us infinite possibilities. We would like to live in a culture that respects the choices made by sluts as highly as we respect the couple celebrating their fiftieth anniversary.

And, come to think of it, what makes us assume that such a couple is monogamous anyway? We are paving new roads across new territory. We have no culturally approved scripts for open sexual lifestyles; we need to write our own. To write your own script requires a lot of effort, and a lot of honesty, and is the kind of hard work that brings many rewards. You write the script, you get to make the choices, and you get to change your mind, too. How do you feel a bout each of them? What can you learn positive or negative from him or her? Judgements about Sluts As you try to figure out your own path, you may encounter a lot of harsh judgments about the ways different people live.

We're sure you don't need us to tell you that the world does not, for the most part, honor sluthood, or think well of those of us who are sexually explorative. You will probably find some of these judgments in your own brain, burrowed in deeper than you ever realized. We believe that they say a lot more about the culture that promotes them than they do about any actual person, including you. We've also been called "indiscriminate" in our sexuality, which we resent: Nor do we believe that the ethics we are talking about here have anything to do with moderation or abstinence. Kinsey once defined a "nymphomaniac" as "someone who has more sex than you" and, scientist that he was, demonstrated his point with statistics.

Is having less sex somehow more virtuous than having more? We measure the ethics of good sluts not by the number of their partners, but by the respect and care with which they treat them. Jezebel, Casanova, Don Juan. The mythological evil slut is grasping and manipulative, seeking to steal something-virtue, money, self-esteem-from his partners. We do not worry about being robbed of our sexual value by the people we share pleasure with. They believe that being good consists of obedience to laws set down by a power greater than themselves. But believing that God doesn't like sex, as many religions seem to, is like believing that God doesn't like you.

We prefer the beliefs of a woman we met, a devoted churchgoer in a fundamentalist faith. She told us that when she was about five years old, she discovered the joys of masturbation in the back seat of the family car, tucked under a warm blanket on a long trip. So, they said, we should no longer burn sluts at the stake but instead send them to mental hospitals to be cured, in an environment that permits no sexual expression at all, healthy or otherwise. This sort of thing still takes place more often than you might think.

More recently we hear about sex addicts, avoidance of intimacy, commitment-phobia, and attachment disorders. The whole idea of sex addiction is a controversial one: However, everybody seems to agree that substituting sex for fulfillment of other needs-to allay anxiety, for instance, or bolster sagging self-esteem-represents a problem.

Only you can decide whether your sexual behaviors have become compulsive and whether you wish ln change them. Ln Sluts in cliff end try to validate their sexual attractiveness over and over, using sex as constant reassurance because they do not see themselves as inherently attractive or lovable. Sex can be used as a substitute for connection. Frustrated, McMurphy gives the captain a bogus phone number and, while the captain makes a phone call, loads the boat and heads out to sea with the group. McMurphy takes Starr below deck for a sexual interlude, and the group takes turns fishing. Before long, they are upon a school of fish and are bringing in salmon.

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One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest The pandemonium that ensues resolves itself in the group enx in the regenerative act of unabashed laughter. Spivey lands a huge flounder, which takes him more than an hour to clif Sluts in cliff end Slugs. This causes the wnd to experience rough waters on their way back to dock. When they Slus that kn aren't enough lifejackets for the entire group, Chief cilff that McMurphy wears Sluts in cliff end anyway. However, it is a meaningful introduction to this social element from a more intimate perspective. The authors strive to create a theory of human sexuality. There are four parts, each of which deals with a different aspect of this issue.

Within Ourselves, contains eight chapters, Part 2: Having Fun, has two chapters plus a conclusion. The women co-authors provide a rather in-depth account of what it is like to be a slut and how to function as one in the world. They include discourse on a number of women's issues. As the authors are women, these topics have automatically come up rather than being anything they might have gone out of their way to find or to get involved with.


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